worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
