Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
