So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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