Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
