I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
