why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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