everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
