So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
