I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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