by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
