Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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