It's like God shit irony all over that family
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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