Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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