Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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