I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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