If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Even my vagina gasped.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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