The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
