I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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