is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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