i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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