:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
