it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
