I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
