If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I did not marry a roomba.
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