What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
