I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
only you would photoshop your dick
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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