absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
