The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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