I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The struggles of a small town man whore
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
