So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
