I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i need some magic done to my vagina
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
