I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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