no. you can't hotbox the world.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
