dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
