How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
