It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
