so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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