I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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