my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
