Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
