Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
