wake up i wanna do it froggy style
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
