I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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