Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
