don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
