Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
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