i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
