where does the pee come out of this thing
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
