My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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