My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
